we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize