Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
