You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
