This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
