he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
