He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
