sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
