So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize