Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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