i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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