i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i think my tv is drunk
You smell like a Billy Joel song
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
