i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
