I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize