Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
