what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
