I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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