why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
