It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
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