there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
