she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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