I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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