i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
