sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
