If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
