happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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