I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
