the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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