Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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