He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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