i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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