So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
