2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
