As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
