i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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