I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
