Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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