Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize