Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
This baby is an asshole
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
