how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
