ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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