Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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