i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
