Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
