You really coming over, don't trick.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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