Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
