420 ftw
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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