Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
