I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
