Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
