I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just gift wrapped bread.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
