She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
