1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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