yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
