I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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