Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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