I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He shit in the fireplace
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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