if you like me you must not know who I am
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
only if we run a train.
done.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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