You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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