Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
