I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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