would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
