No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
